| okay, a lot of people have asked what happened with my uncle, so here it is:
on october 30, he called, and lauren answered
he said that he had fallen and needed help getting up. he didn't sound panicked or anything.
i decided i should go because my mom and patty were at wal-mart. so i threw on my jacket, grabbed what i thought were the right keys, and ran across the street.
when i finally made it in his yard (he had all the gates locked, so i had to run around another house to get in), i found out i had the wrong keys. i stood outside his bedroom and yelled to him that i had the wrong key, but i'd be back.
since he didn't respond to my yelling, i called him when i got in my house:
"uncle russell, i had the wrong keys, but ill find the right ones and be right over"
"okay, its fine" again, he sounded alright
after a frantic few minutes of searching, i still couldn't find them, so i called his sister-and-law to meet me at his house. right after that, pop-pop yelled and said he found them. i tried uncle russell to let him know i was on the way, but his line was busy, so i went running outside again.
just when i was getting there, geraldine was getting there with her set of keys. we went in the house yelling his name....no response. we walked around the dark house and couldn't find him. when we passed his room, i just happened to catch i glimpse of his foot. i stumbled into his room and he was folded over in the floor with the phone in his hand (he must have been on the phone when it happened, which is why the line was busy when i called). at first i thought he was passed out. i bent over to pick him up: not breathing, no pulse. so i left him and went to call 911. a few minutes later patty and his caretaker got there. linda tried cpr and the ambulance people used a defibrillator, but that wasnt working either. i stayed long enough for all that until my mom made me go home.
i know he was old and sick, but i still feel like it was sort of my fault. like i didnt get there fast enough, or he at least didnt have to be alone when he died. so i spent my birthday feeling like heck. and the next few days after that. i feel a little better about it now because david and annette (his son and daughter, my cousins) assured me that i did everything i could. so i dunno. im still a little traumatized and sad. yesterday would have been his birthday, so i went to get a card to take to the cemetery. i spent a half an hour picking out a card that no one will even ever read, and when i realized that, i bought the one that was in my hand, and left. i make no sense to myself sometimes. in lighter news pluses: -i went to see bee movie with calisa pierce on saturday. shes really cool to be around, so that was fun. -the newspaper is almost done. and the class is going pretty well. i told heidi about something funny i said the other day and she laughed just like old times. i wont lie and say i dont miss it. i think there are still a lot of unresolved issues there and im still not happy with the situation, but i apparantly cant do anything about it. -i applied for a job as a gift wrapper at mccormick's. -im going to take intro. to psych. and intro. to philosophy at the college starting in january. -i'm spending thanksgiving break at home! my mom asked me and lauren if we wanted to go to new york, but we both declined. i think we're both still tired from our trip there in august. -josh is joining the us in the 21st century and getting a cell phone tomorrow. im assisting. -my mom, lauren, and i are making plans for our graduation present: a trip to europe! i'm not even scared, im just excited.
you know, i really love my mom. she's great. she puts up with me hugging her every five seconds. i just worry about something happening to her. meh. -we got a black cat (sophie). she cuddled with me yesterday while i read. and she doesn't make me itch. -the new episode of weeds comes on tonight!
and now i'm done.
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